Clayton Counts passed away on Christmas Eve outside of Jamestown, Colorado.  He was a vivacious, passionate, caring person, and he loved to make others laugh. At his request, several of his friends will continue to update this blog semi-regularly. If you would like to contribute music, please email us by clicking here. Clayton had many close friends, and his passing comes as a shock to all who knew him. For the past few months, he’d been co-producing the debut album by Jefferson Slaveship, a space rock band he also played guitar for.  Some of that record will be posted here, along with odds and ends from Clayton’s career as a musician, producer, author, journalist, graphic artist, humorist, activist, and prankster. The collection below was his final contribution to the 365 Days Project, by a brother and sister duo called the Death Killers. The vocalist is a six year old girl named Ally, and the music was made by her older brother. Clayton was cremated, and there are no plans for a public memorial service. For those who knew him, please celebrate his life in a meaningful way by making a donation to the charitable organization of your choice, and remember him for the happiness he brought to so many. We will miss you, Clayton. Love always, Grace, Tim, Beth, Steve, Chris, Olivia, Neil, and others.

  01. I’ll Be Your Death
  02. Death Killers
  03. Yo Mama
  04. Your Mother is Dead (She Lives in Your Head)
  05. Homer Simpson
  06. Rocco’s Modern Life
  07. If I Saw What You Saw
  08. There Ain’t No Boogers (In This, Bud)
  09. I Do
  10. Why Does the Purple Dog Sing?
  11. Why Do Kids Always Ask Those Stupid Questions?
  12. I Hate When You Do This to Me
  13. Rockin’ Rally
  14. You Always Walk Right Out That Door
  15. What Did the Purple Dog Say?
  16. Walkie Talk Dogs
  17. Junior John

  Okay, I realized that I can’t leave you guys without giving you something nice, so here you go.  Click on the cover to enlarge it.  I am going away for a very long time, and have left instructions on how this record should be completed by my various collaborators. So, as with Sgt. Petsound’s,  the tracks will be posted a few at a time until it’s finished. There is something of a miserable story behind all of this, and I won’t even bother going into it. With any luck, some of you may find it enjoyable. And perhaps a few of you who disliked the last release with such fervency may find that your pithy evaluations of others’ capacities to make original (yet derivative) works of art are sophomoric at best. What more can be said? Oh yeah, I need to mention how exhilarating it was to have been so VILLANIZED for making a GODDAMNED RECORD. You people really need to get some fucking lives, and leave the thinking to people like me. Especially you mealy-mouthed DJs. You know who you are. And hey, even if you don’t, you’re on the cover! Whiny little bitches, chasing me around the Internet for months on end like a bunch of frantic crybabies.  Enjoy.  OR GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Side A

  01. Hang on to Your Walrus
  02. Transcendental Mystery Tour
  03. Student Revolution Time
  04. I’ve Just Seen Our Car Club
  05. Your Mother Should Catch a Wave
  06. The Long and Winding Parkin’ Lot
  07. Dear Rhonda
  08. Keep an Eye on Sadie

Side B

  09. Norwegian Safari
  10. Maxwell’s Silver Honda
  11. Don’t Worry (Come Together)
  12. Surfin’ USSR
  13. Got to Get You in My Room
  14. While My Little Sister Gently Weeps
  15. I Get Around the Universe
  16. Long, Fun, Fun, Long, Fun, Fun, Long

Side C

  17. California Helter Skelter
  18. Strawberry Jam Forever
  19. Let Him Run for Your Life
  20. Busy Doin’ Her Majesty
  21. And Your Little Bird Can Sing
  22. You’ve Got to Hide Our Sweet Love Away
  23. Why Don’t We Do It in the Little Deuce Coup?
  24. I Want to Hold Your Vegetables

Side D

  25. All You Need is Not to Love
  26. Be True to Your Monkey
  27. You’re So Good to Your Octopus
  28. Happiness is a Warm Surfer Girl
  29. I’d Love Just Once to See You Sleeping
  30. Wendy Michelle
  31. You Won’t See Me All Summer Long
  32. Good Night, Vibrations

  Recently I was invited to be a part of a comedic mash-up collection entitled It is to Laff.  The project was curated by DJ Useo, and it features 19 international remixers creating humorous bootlegs under wacky assumed names. The kooky name I used was DJ Edgar Hoover, and only after I’d submitted my nutty tracks did I realize that there is already a DJ going by that crazy, silly, goofy name. So, my tenderest apologies to the unfortunate fellow having to be associated with a dirty louse like me. The songs are often wildly hilarious, spiritedly deranged, inordinately and insanely ridiculous, unapologetically asinine, and discombobulatingly absurd. Not to mention NSFW. As the record was being downloaded so much, I decided to mirror the files over here. If you like, you can snag the entire thing as a ZIP file. (125 MB download.) There truly is something here for everyone, and many of the tracks are outstanding. Thanks, Useo!

  01. McSlimey & the Teletubbies - “The Salmon Dance”
  02. DJ Breakfast Burrito - “Turd Night”
  03. Brighton Drag Queen Massacre - “Tourettes 678”
  04. MC Python - “Voodoo Banter Rap”
  05. SoulWhacker - “Smells Like Your Muddah”
  06. The Pop Up DJ - “Vanessa Loves Daniel”
  07. DJ Eternity - “Higher (Wendy Arthole Evil Ringtone Remix)”
  08. DJ Tunedeaf - “Bring the Bird”
  09. DJ M. Aynot Feed - “Get Ur Typewriter On”
  10. Cockster - “Let There Be Ladies”
  11. Marc Oni - “We Built This Heater”
  12. SoulWhacker - “Everytime You Touch Titties”
  13. DJ Meaningless - “Sister Mary Driver”
  14. The Dregs of Humanity - “SOng for VegaTables”
  15. DJ Sick My Duck - “Do the Roseman”
  16. Donald Schlongbad - “Ducks are Still Having Sex [Quickie XXX Edit]”
  17. Bob Parr - “Oh Supermash”
  18. DJ Margot - “Bambi Umbrella”
  19. Crystal Meth - “You Can’t Hurry Lies”
  20. DJ Edgar Hoover - “Meneaters”
  21. DJKITTKARR - “WhenKnightsCry”
  22. DJ LOL - “Voicemail This Way”
  23. Anastasia Beaverhausen - “Blue Hotel Remix”
  24. Wendy Arthole - “Requiem for a Forum Layout”
  25. DJ Meaningless - “Due Mafiosi Revenge Dat”
  26. DJ Edgar Hoover - “Knockin’ Popcorn”
  27. DJ Meaningless - “Body to Body Pushups”
  28. The Dregs of Humanity - “Mrs. O’Leary’s Tomato“

  Halloween was pretty special this year. Lots of whiskey. I had planned on bringing you a handsome smattering of oddball monster tunes, but my guest blogger flaked on me at the last minute. Ten bucks says he doesn’t even read this post until next September, and who can blame him? I update this site maybe once every couple hundred millennia. Anyway, I promise to have a nice Halloween roundup for you one of these days, probably sometime around Easter. Which brings us to today’s post: VD. You know—Valentine’s Day. Of course, I realize that it’s still a few months away, but I’m feeling a little frisky. I doubt that you’ll get many Christmas songs out of me this year, so I thought I’d throw you a bone. I should avoid being too secretive here, and just lay it on you. For the most part, this is a collection of songs about love and sex.  Many of these are NSFW, which is to say: not safe for women. Or work, for that matter. Unless you happen to work in the adult film industry.  Or for Bill O’Reilly.  Some of you may think (or instead declare with neither admirable intellection nor conscience) that by posting these I am somehow in favor of rampant misogyny. The truth is: 98.6% of all songs written about the tender act of lovemaking involve someone being called “bitch.” It really has nothing to do with me, and I’ve done what I could to balance things out here.  179 Songs About Schlongs and Other Assorted Pudenda, Part 1.

Rose Murphy - “Is I in Love I Is” / The Pastels - “So Far Away” / Teddy Pendergrass - “Turn Off the Lights” / Fats Waller - “Hold Tight (I Want Some Seafood Mama)” / Syd Barrett - “Love You” / Antonio Carlos Jobim, Luiz Bonfa & Marpessa Dawn - “Manha de Carnaval” / Louis Armstrong - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Robyn Hitchcock - “Beautiful Girl” / Talulah Gosh - “Don’t Go Away” / Claudine Longet - “A Man and a Woman” / Marilyn Monroe - Let’s Make Love  OST - “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” / Half Japanese - “1,000,000 Kisses” / Kuni Kawachi & the Flower Travelling Band - “Graveyard of Love” / MC Luscious - “Boom! I Fucked Your Boyfriend” / Steeler - “Hot on Your Heels” / Leonard Nimoy - “Where is Love?” / Ernesto Cortazar - “In the Mood for Love” / The Hotshots - “I’m in Love” / Kirk, Mark & Lopez - “If I Had a Penis” / Glenn Miller Orchestra - “Moonlight Cocktail” / Blowfly - “Porno Freak” / Lindy Lane - “Low Grades & High Fever” / Elvis Presley - “I Don’t Care if the Sun Don’t Shine” / The Jesus & Mary Chain - “Taste of Cindy” / Tom T. Hall - “I Love” / Judy Garland - “You Made Me Love You” / Rocketship - “I Love You Like the Way I Used to Do” / Oscar Peterson - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / The Flirts - “Passion” / Magnetic Fields - “Take Ecstasy With Me” / Amy Borkowsky - “Lambskin Condoms” / Kid Creole & the Coconuts - “Annie I’m Not Your Daddy” / B-Rock & the Bizz - “That’s Just My Baby Daddy” / Coleman Hawkins - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Nelson Riddle - “Lamento” / Kirsty MacColl - “They Don’t Know” / Acker Bilk, Kenny Ball & Chris Barber - “Temptation Rag” / Lone Ranger - “Love Bump” / Fred Astaire - “Cheek to Cheek” / Count Basie - “Doggin’ Around” / Hubble Bubble - “Born a Woman” / Minutemen - “Please Don’t Be Gentle With Me” / Johnny Paycheck - “Pardon Me, I’ve Got Someone to Kill” / Nina Simone - “I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl” / Nat King Cole - “It’s Almost Like Being in Love” / Esrevnoc - “SugarTime” / The Chimes - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Lightnin’ Hopkins - “Dust My Broom” / David Allen Coe - “Don’t Bite the Dick” / My Bloody Valentine - “Slow” / Crispin Glover - “Automanipulator” / Gary Coleman - “Journey Inside” / Palais Schaumburg - “The Girl Who Had Everything” / Barrington Levy - “Wedding Ring” / Fela Anikulapo Kuti & the Africa 70 - “Expensive Shit” / The Lilys - “Can’t Make Your Life Better” / Man Chau Po Orchestra - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Containe - “Shy Song” / Howard Johnson - “Keepin’ Love New” / The Petites - “Get Your Daddy’s Car Tonight” / Sissy Penis Factory - “Everybody Fuck Now” / La Setta - “Our Little Rendezvous” / Chris Morris - “Motherbanger” / The Frogs - “Grandma in the Corner With a Penis in Her Hand” / Billy Butterfield - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Prefuse 73 - “Perverted Undertone” / Jeff Alexander & Bonnie Beecher - “Come Wander With Me” / Richard Marino & His Orchestra - “Lover” / Tamiya Lynn - “I’m Gonna Run Away from You” / The Honeys - “Girls are Vicious” / Dismemberment Plan - “I Love a Magician” / The Kinks - “Mindless Child of Motherhood” / Dexter Gordon - “Our Love is Here to Stay” / Sakura & the Quests - “My Boy Lollipop” / MC Paul Barman - “Cock Mobster” / Klaus Nomi - “Ding Dong” / Buddy Merrill - “Moonglow & Theme from Picnic” / Ethel Merman - “I Get a Kick Out of You” / The Glands - “Pretty Merrina” / Señor Coconut - “Suavito” / 101 Strings - “A Taste of Honey” / Geto Boys - “Gangster of Love” / PornoSonic & Ron Jeremy - “Cramming for College” / Metric - “Love is a Place” / Loretta Lynn - “The Pill” / Shelly Duvall - Popeye  OST - “He Needs Me” / Berlin - “Sex” / The Techniques - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Al Green - “Your Love is Like the Morning Sun” / Claudine Longet - “Small Talk” / Fats Domino - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Billy Paul - “Me and Mrs. Jones” / Jim Noir - “Turn Your Frown Into a Smile” / Dick & DeeDee - “Love is a Once in a Lifetime Thing” / The Smiths - “Jeane” / The Wedding Present - “Don’t Laugh” / Lara & the Trailers - “Sugar Town” / Ogden Edsl - “Kinko the Clown” / Larry Williams - “Too Much” / Shirley Horn - “If You Love Me” / Jandek - “Babe I Love You” / Mark Zadane - “One Minute from Love” / Ella Fitzgerald - “Do I Love You?” / Perry Como - “No Other Love” / Little Anthony & the Imperials - “I Miss You So” / Howard Roberts - “Girl Talk” / Dr. Ring Ding - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / James Moody - “Moody’s Mood for Love” / Roy Harper - “East of the Sun” / Daniel Johnston - “Wedding Ring Bells” / Madeleine Peyroux - “Dance Me to the End of Love” / Marty Jones - “The Next Time You See Me (I’ll Be Dead)” / The Stranglers - “Peaches” / The Misfits - “Angelfuck” / Liberace - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Count Bass D - “Aural S(ect)s” / Little Anthony & the Imperials - “I Miss You So” / Henri Rene & His Orchestra - “Sleep Walk” / The Shaggs - “I Love” / Freda Payne - “Band of Gold” / Bedhed - “Bedside Table” / Telly Savalas - “Some Broken Hearts Never Mend” / Coil - “Tainted Love” / Salt ‘N’ Pepa - “I’ve Got AIDS” / Joe Tex -”Hang On to What You’ve Got” / Leslie Gore - “Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows” / David Rose & His Orchestra - “Stripper with Drum Roll Intro” / Mister Hopkinson’s Computer - “Falling” / Jimmy Durante - “As Time Goes By” / Frankie Paul - “In the Mood for Love (Moody’s Mood for Love)” / R. Kelly - “You Remind Me of Something” / John Frusciante - “Your Pussy is Glued to a Building on Fire” / The Dayglo Abortions - “Argh Fuck Kill” / Soft Cell - “Sex Dwarf” / Little Milton - “I Can’t Quit You, Baby” / Jodie Foster’s Army - “Sadistic Release” / Ernesto Pomareda - “Besame Mucho” / Johnny Johnson & the Bandwagon - “Breakin’ Down the Walls of Heartache” / Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin - “Je T’aime… Moi Non Plus” / Moose - “Last Night I Fell Again” / Elmore James - “Goodbye, Baby” / Sex Museum - “You” / Cebola Mole - “Baby, I Love U” / 1000 Homo DJs - “Speed Racer (Hardcore Mix)” / Mae West - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / The Sugarcubes - “Fucking in Rhythm and Sorrow” / Drop Nineteens - “Winona” / George Jones - “If Drinkin’ Don’t Kill Me, Her Memory Will” / Spike Jones’ New Band - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Edith Piaf - “La Goualante du Pauvre Jean” / Sunday & the Menn - “You Cheated” / Lords of Acid - “Show Me Your Pussy” / The Others - “Penis Between Us” / Leonard Cohen - “Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye” / Enoch Light - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / The Pastels - “Nothing to Be Done” / Bob Relf - “Girl, You’re My Kind of Wonderful” / Lou Rawls - “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine” / Fairfax High School Marimba Band - “Besame Mucho” / Souls of Mischief - “Step to My Girl” / Jacques Brel - “Jacky” / Charlie Parker - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Screamin’ Jay Hawkins - “I Put a Spell on You” / Charlie Robinson - “Life of the Party” / The Sweet Marquees - “I Love My Baby” / The Fifth Dimension - “Wedding Bell Blues” / Broken Social Scene - “Love and Mathematics” / Claudine Longet - “Nothing to Lose” / Too Short - “All My Bitches are Gone” / Glenn Miller Orchestra & the Andrews Sisters - “Hold Tight (I Want Some Seafood Mama)” / Patsy Cline - “So Wrong” / Alma Cogan - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Bunny Fuzzy - “Midnight Cherry Pop” / Sonic Mine - “Everybody Fuck Now” / Terence Blanchard - “I’m in the Mood for Love” / Antonio Carlos Jobim - “Lamento” / Cannonball Adderly - “Manha de Carnaval” / The Crooner - “Whatever Happened to Claudine Longet?” / Tito Puente - “Moody’s Mood for Love” / Rose Murphy - “Is I in Love I Is (Alternate Take)” / Louis Prima & Keely Smith - “I’m in the Mood for Love“