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	<title>claytoncounts.com</title>
	<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog</link>
	<description>Music.  It's only music.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 20 Aug 2008 09:30:45 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Classic Head Explosions</title>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Chopping Mall
&#160;&#160;Let me be clear: this is one of the worst horror movies ever, but it definitely packs some punches.  It&#8217;s directed by Jim Wynorski, known for tackling sequels that no one else was crazy enough to touch, like Return of Swamp Thing, 976-EVIL II, and Ghoulies IV, as well as straight-to-video softcore [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/92</link>
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		<title>Walk for Autism</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;This is my good friend Bobby Genese.  He&#8217;s walking across the United States to raise money for needy families of autistic children, and to help increase public awareness of this rapidly advancing threat.  One in every 150 children is born with autism, a number which has been growing by about 10-17% annually; faster [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/90</link>
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		<title>Videosynchrosy</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;OK, there&#8217;s some good news, and some bad news.  Let&#8217;s start with the bad.  Since all of my collection is archived on DVD and CD, I am able to locate almost anything using a little program called CDWinder.  It&#8217;s called CDFinder for the Macintosh, and I recommend it highly.  It makes [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/89</link>
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		<title>My Bloody Valentine - London - 13 March, 2008 (FLAC)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Whoo-hoo!  The first My Bloody Valentine concert since to here knows when, in FLAC.  Click here to nab it all as a half-Gig ZIP file.  The recording quality really improves a bit nearer to the end, and what a familiar ending it is.  As anybody knows, I&#8217;ve been a huge fan [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/87</link>
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		<title>Kissing is Forbidden</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Ah, summertime.  For the past year or so, we&#8217;ve been serving up close to a million MP3s a month.  It only seems fair that we should give something back to those who&#8217;ve taken so much.  Over the coming weeks, we&#8217;ll be very slow in serializing the unfinished Bollywood masterpiece Kissing is Forbidden, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/85</link>
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		<title>Transsexual Baby Goat</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
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		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/83</link>
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		<title>Worst R&#038;B Song Ever, Period.</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Click here.  Do it now.  Nobody knows who this is, or why this is.  We don&#8217;t even know why or how it came this way.  It just did.  The lyrics are brilliant, and the off-key singing is even better.  Oh, and what about the &#8220;whoa, oh, whoa&#8221; sections?  [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/82</link>
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		<title>Clayton Counts, RIP</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Clayton Counts passed away on Christmas Eve outside of Jamestown, Colorado.&#160;  He was a vivacious, passionate, caring person, and he loved to make others laugh.  At his request, several of his friends will continue to update this blog semi-regularly.  If you would like to contribute music, please email us by clicking here. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/80</link>
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		<title>The Beat Boys</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Okay, I realized that I can&#8217;t leave you guys without giving you something nice, so here you go.&#160;  Click on the cover to enlarge it.&#160;  I am going away for a very long time, and have left instructions on how this record should be completed by my various collaborators.  So, as with [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/79</link>
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		<title>It is to Laff</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Recently I was invited to be a part of a comedic mash-up collection entitled It is to Laff.&#160; The project was curated by DJ Useo, and it features 19 international remixers creating humorous bootlegs under wacky assumed names.  The kooky name I used was DJ Edgar Hoover, and only after I&#8217;d submitted my nutty [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/78</link>
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		<title>Playin&#8217; Nookie</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Halloween was pretty special this year.  Lots of whiskey.  I had planned on bringing you a handsome smattering of oddball monster tunes, but my guest blogger flaked on me at the last minute.  Ten bucks says he doesn&#8217;t even read this post until next September, and who can blame him?  I [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/75</link>
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		<title>Celebrity PSAs</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Below is a heart-tugging CD&#8217;s worth of overtly earnest celebrity PSAs, courtesy of the National Jewish Center for Immunology and Respiratory Medicine in Denver.  It&#8217;s quite a lungful, I know, but try saying it in Hebrew.  After listening to this a few times, it really seems like Lloyd Bridges spent the better part [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/73</link>
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		<title>Kitties!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Kittens are nature&#8217;s Valentines.  Yes, it&#8217;s true&#8212;I&#8217;m a cat-lover.  America may be a nation of dog-lovers, but it&#8217;s clear to anyone with an Internet connection that our feline companions are favored throughout the world.  After all, Bouvier des Flandres macros haven&#8217;t exactly taken off.  I&#8217;m not sure why I love cats [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/71</link>
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		<title>The Blind Kids?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;I first heard these tracks back in 1993.  This is all that remains of a few cassettes&#8217; worth of material by some kids at the Texas School for the Blind, recorded with the help of John Hawkins of the band Crust.&#160;  I haven&#8217;t spoken to John in years, but I&#8217;ve been trying to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/69</link>
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		<title>America&#8217;s at War?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;This is possibly the most inelegant tribute album ever.  Following the attacks on 9/11, we Americans were predictably inundated with all sorts of ultranationalist gobbledegook and garbage.  I still have my &#8220;Operation Infinite Justice&#8221; t-shirt to prove it.  But what we never could&#8217;ve foreseen was the xenophobic reprehensibility of this singular memorial, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/68</link>
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		<title>Chris Stines?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;This is the first in a series of unidentified recordings that I&#8217;ll be sharing with you.  These vocal cords are believed by a few people to belong to someone named Chris Stines, but ultimately the singer&#8217;s identity remains a mystery.  The disc was discovered sometime during the turbulent 1990s by an anonymous technician [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/67</link>
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		<title>Hapless Days</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Okay, calm down&#8212;I haven&#8217;t forgotten about you.  I had every intention of making with a full-blown Happy Days post, but after listening to Scott Baio&#8217;s record yesterday, I decided against it.  The truth is: I can&#8217;t put you people through that.&#160;  You&#8217;re so&#160; much better off, believe me.&#160;  Even the worst [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/66</link>
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		<title>ASL Crack</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
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		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/65</link>
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		<title>1,095 Days Later: The Quickening</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;2007 looks to be a great year already.  Beginning January 1st, WFMU&#8217;s imitable and often musically reckless Beware of the Blog&#160; is hosting the second installment of Otis Fodder&#8217;s wonderful 365 Days Project, posted daily.  If you missed out on the 365 Days of 2003, click here to be amazed.  I am [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/62</link>
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		<title>Champagne &#038; Suffering</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;This has been one Hell of a year.  People who don&#8217;t know me called me a bastard.  People who do&#160; know me said that I was being too kind to the people who don&#8217;t.  And some dimwit named Mitsy even said that I was talentless, all because of some remix I did [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/61</link>
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		<title>It&#8217;s the Great Satan, Charlie Brown</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;C&#8217;mon.  You didn&#8217;t think I&#8217;d let you off the hook so easily, did you?  We&#8217;re still at war.  Still.  Quite possibly forever.  And who the Hell knows?  Maybe we&#8217;ll fuck with Iran next.  It&#8217;s been mentioned by those in the know as a tempting alternative to our survival. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/60</link>
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		<title>Happy Christmas, War is Ongoing</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;All right, kiddies.  It&#8217;s that time of year again.  Those damned liberals want to steal our Christmas cheer with all of their cultural sensitivity masquerading as generic holiday greetings.  Seriously, though, I know that I&#8217;ve been a little mean to some of you this year, particularly if you work for EMI.  [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/59</link>
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		<title>Jesus, My Head</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker are some creepy looking people.  Let me rephrase that.  What in the fuck HAPPENED to these people?  Has there ever been a creepier TV couple?  Donny and Marie, possibly.  Ooh, I&#8217;ve got it!  The Menendez brothers!  Yeah, they were pretty fucking creepy, as [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/53</link>
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		<title>Life is So Precious, Why Not Take It?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Thank God that my series of posts about the Beachle-bashers has come to an end.  Now I can finally get back to punking out the world at large.  First off, I&#8217;d like to zero in on the Beachle-bashers for a minute.  Did you guys realize that what you were doing was the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/50</link>
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		<title>The World is Ending&#8212;How Can I Help?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;You know, I&#8217;ve gotten a few death threats because of the Beachles, but no one took Clayton-hatred further than one sad little guy, a dreary twist of a man by the hideous name of Kirk Benbenet.  Or something like that.  He&#8217;s written me in excess of three hundred letters in the past month, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/45</link>
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		<title>Shine On You Crazy Rhinestones</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;You&#8217;d have to be a complete moron to think that the Beachles were intended for mass consumption.  I&#8217;ve mentioned this a few times on the radio in the past month, but I feel that it can never be said too often.  This week, kind and gentle reader, I present the second of three [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/43</link>
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		<title>Bootie School Dropout</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;This post is dedicated to the hebetudinous droves of Beachles-haters out there.  Unless you&#8217;re a solicitous moron, it&#8217;s easy as pie to enjoy Sgt. Petsound&#8217;s.  No two ways about it.  Either you possess a sense of humor, or you&#8217;re a slobbering halfwit who deserves to be murdered violently in your sleep.  [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/41</link>
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		<title>Banned by GuYBlOw?  Big Surprise &#038; Whoop!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;As some of you know, users of lame-ass Internet forums often subscribe to a uniquely repellent form of idiocy similar to that of nationalism.  You know&#8212;that belief that makes the most hideous of your own government&#8217;s  atrocities seem inexplicably superior to even the greatest deeds of all other nations put together?  That [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/39</link>
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		<title>Lily Allen vs. Me</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Okay, so everybody&#8217;s remixing this one and I thought I&#8217;d jump on in.  Click here to download my quick and dirty mix of Lily Allen&#8217;s &#8220;Smile.&#8221;  I&#8217;ll probably end up mashing it up with King Tubby and Scientist at some point, but this&#8217;ll have to do for now.   Hope you enjoy [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/38</link>
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		<title>God, I Hate David Mamet</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;David Effing Mamet.  Three words that no one should ever have to hear strung together.  You know, as much as I love The Huffington Post&#8212;and being a confirmed liberal and pop culture junkie I do so with as little shame as possible&#8212;I just don&#8217;t have the stomach for David Mamet&#8217;s whimsically pointless brand [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/34</link>
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		<title>Sweet Jesus</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Sorry for the wait, folks.  I haven&#8217;t been feeling quite myself lately.  Toxins in the brain, I suppose.  Possibly some exposure to radiation, as well.  I&#8217;m a bundle of nerves&#8212;it must be the fact that for years I have been searching in vain for the most irritating and unlistenable celebrity record. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/24</link>
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		<title>War on Christmas Exclusive:  Santa Beheaded</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Okay, kiddies.  It has come to my attention that Sean Hannity, Bill O&#8217;Reilly, and the rest of the talking human waste over at Fox have taken to undermining this great holiday of ours known as Christmas.  How, you may ask, were they able to do such a deplorable thing, and all the stupid [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/25</link>
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		<title>Musical Euthanasia and You</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Hey, it&#8217;s been a great couple of weeks over there in Iraq.  Recently, I downloaded a somewhat lengthy video clip that shows the rest of the world just how much America really cares.  Contractors in Iraq are more or less free to do whatever they want, including murder whoever they like.  Or [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/23</link>
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		<title>A Brief History of Berntholer</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;In May of 1981, Sweden&#8217;s consummate spy-model Virna Lindt released &#8220;Attention Stockholm,&#8221; a tale of new wave intrigue&#8212;a supersecret agent (Codename: Cologne) attempting to contact a wayward counterspy (Codename: Stockholm) in Soviet Russia, presumably by wire, though for some reason a telephone also appears to have been involved.  In October of the same year, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/22</link>
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		<title>More Pieces of the Puzzle</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;In lieu of more celebrity pain, I bring you: unmitigated hideousness.   With any luck, some of you may find something here you&#8217;d like to download.  It&#8217;s not likely, but hey&#8212;give it your best shot.  I want for you to have the time of your life.  Since no website can provide [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/21</link>
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		<title>Earth to David Mamet</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Now that John Cleese has a lemur named after him, it&#8217;s finally safe to talk shit about famed American playwright David Mamet.  The Pulitzer Prize winning Glengarry Glen Ross scribe has apparently been moonlighting as a &#8220;cartoonist&#8221; for Huffington Post.  Only thing is, the dumb bastard can&#8217;t spell.  Notice anything peculiar here, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/20</link>
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		<title>Where is Our Sense of Decency?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;&#160;Here are some songs, in no particular order, but still numbered for your convenience.  We all seem to appreciate lists nowadays.  So many lists.  All of them with stupid themes.  Okay, I&#8217;m going to get in on this nonsense.  I hope to make a habit of it.  Once a [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://claytoncounts.com/blog/archives/18</link>
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